Live * Learn * Lead

PARENTING

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

One of the hardest roles is life is to be a parent. While parents find great joy in having children, it sometimes comes with heartache, worry, grief and many other emotions. Parenting can be bitter sweet for the parents and for the child. Children sometimes don’t seem to realize their parents were children before they became parents. And as crazy as it seems, some parents tend to forget they were once children. When this realization is overlooked or ignored, it can many times cause a negative outcome.

As parents we cannot afford to forget the things we did or how we felt, what it was like to be a child because some of our same experiences, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are repeated in our children’s lives but are now magnified. The world has made drastic changes with each generation. Some changes have offered major advancements but with those advancements also came new issues that plaque today’s children making their now experiences seem like our past issues on steroids. One way to remedy the concerns of today’s children, is to first remember how you felt and what you needed from your parents when you went through similar situations your children face now. When you can hear your heart reminding you of what you needed then, you can better nurture and help your children with their concerns now. For all the new-age growing pains, honest communication, simply hearing and listening more than speaking, can resolve many situations.

For children, the best thing parents can offer them is honesty. You may not need to tell the whole truth about every detail of your growing pains, but you definitely cannot be a parent that pretends you never made a mistake, never made a bad decision, never acted up or any of the things that most kids do. They don’t need to see their parents as the perfect mom and dad who have never gone through anything. Children need to know Mom and Dad know very well how it feels to be a child at every stage of childhood. The first kiss, first love, disappointments, tough classes, teachers, friends who turn out to not be a true friend, school life in general, peer pressures, and now the designer clothes fad, social media, the list goes on and on and our children can be overwhelmed with these concerns. They need to know they have parents who know these experiences first hand and are available to talk them through it lovingly, unconditionally and with compassion. To do that, they first must come to the realization that you were once a kid too, so share your childhood experiences with your children.

There are no perfect parents, there are no perfect children. Parents don’t and never will have all the answers but honest and loving dialogue can certainly reveal answers for both participants. Just as God our Heavenly Father listens and hears us each time we pray, each time we cry He feels our pain, each time we have made a mistake or rebelliously did wrong, He has lovingly remained by our side ready to talk us through every situation. We should exhibit this same parental love and patience with our earthly children. Oh, and remember your children are also God’s children whom He has entrusted in your care. He’s there available when you need help or guidance in raising them to become who He created them to be.

A side-note, children may not listen when you’re talking to them, trying to teach them what you believe they need to know, but they do hear you. As they grow older and become adults, the evidence that they heard every word you said will show up. Therefore, let’s be very cognizant of what we plant in our children because they are future adults and will be making decisions that may affect our generation but will definitely affect their next generation, our grandchildren. Ponder on that for a moment.